Around 10 years ago I got on a plane from Texas to California. There was some issue with my ticket and my seat got moved, and I was thinking “Oh no, I hope I don’t end up next to some crying baby for 3+ hours.” Thankfully, there were no crying babies. I sat down next to a man named Calen and we immediately struck up a conversation. He was a sales leader at his company and since I was in sales, we hit it off. While he didn’t succeed in persuading me to leave my current company and join his, he did leave an indelible impact on me about leadershipIn this post, I’m going to talk about how he communicated as a leader, what I learned about having a leadership mindset, and I’ll share some practical tips on what you can do to communicate better as a leader.
Calen. He didn’t lecture me on leadership – the topic didn’t even come up. Rather, listening to him talk about his team, I was able to gain insight into how a leader thinks and I remember it to this day, 10 years later.
First Leadership Lesson: What to call your people
Most managers and bosses refer to the people at their company as “employees,” “workers,” or “staff.” But Calen regularly called his people his “teammates,” his “partners,” his “team.” He showed me that great leaders don’t try to create distance between themselves and the people they lead by overusing hierarchical titles (like boss and employee, or manager and subordinate.) The hierarchical distance one feels from their leader – where the leader is way up here, and I’m way down here – is called “power distance” and it varies greatly across cultures. This is an important topic. We’ll cover it in a future video on cross-cultural communication, so stay tuned.
Second Leadership Lesson: How you relate to your people
Along this same line of thinking, Calen talked about all the people he “worked with” and “worked with” him. He never said his “employees work for him.” He said his “teammates work with him.” I’m not sure how this will translate into your native language as we’re a global company with a global audience – but the principle remains the same. Show your people you are on the same team and at the same level.
When leaders aren’t seen as far away and inaccessible, their people will share more openly with their leader. This means problems will come to the surface faster and get solved faster. Also, since they perceive their leader as being closer, warmer, and more accessible, they are more open to the influence of their leader. Leaders are not just seen as a distant commander, but rather as a nearby coach.
Third Leadership Lesson: Use the most powerful word in leadership – “we”
The most influential leaders regularly use the most powerful word in leadership: “we.” It’s about what “we” have accomplished, what “we” have persevered through, what “we” are working on, and what “we” want to achieve. Do you want your people to be more focused on team results instead of just on their own individual success? Then learn how to wield this powerful word: “we.”
When the boss puts the focus on himself, he’s communicating the low priority he gives to the team and team results. He’s also leading by example showing everyone they ought to act in their own self-interest. These are the types of environments where office politics and internal fighting flourish. It kills productivity and can cause people to quit.
Let’s take a look at these 2 mindsets. Someone with a boss mindset says, “Look at my great company that I built… And oh, those people? They are my employees. Most of them have worked for me for over 5 or 10 years. They’re not bad.” Someone with a leadership mindset says, “Look at the great company we’ve built together. I have worked with most of my team for over 5 or 10 years, and I’m really proud of the results that we’ve achieved together.”
Which company do you want to work at? Then go be that leader and lead your company in that direction. It doesn’t take position or authority, it just takes leadership influence – a skill you can develop. If you don’t see this mindset at your company, you can still change YOURSELF and persevere with a leadership mindset. Sooner or later, you will find a successful company that supports a leadership mindset and wants more leaders to continue to build that company. Or maybe, just maybe, you’ll start your own company. That’s what we did.
What I learned over 10 years ago from Calen, I pass to you today. If you hold onto it, practice it, and live it out, your life professionally and personally will look very different 10 years from now. I know, I’ve done it.
Let’s recap:
- Show your people you’re on the same team – your people are your teammates, they are your partners.
- Show your people you’re on the same level – that you’re working together and there isn’t this pronounced power distance.
- Show your people that you care about them – focus on your team and team results.